Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

My hotel room this trip to Los Angeles has an abundance of mirrors.  Two huge mirrors in the bathroom, mirrored closet doors, another huge mirror opposite the windows…and I’ve always hated mirrors. I would look at myself with a very narrow focus – only at my hair while I brushed it, only at my eyes when putting on make-up, and so on.  I was never the “pretty one” in my family – I was once told I have the kind of looks you have to “grow into”.  And being the “smart one” doesn’t show in the mirror.  Ugh.

Then, without really knowing much about it, I started practicing Bikram Yoga. Before my first class in the hot room, I did not know that for 90 minutes I would have to look at myself, my whole, fat, sweaty, inflexible self (did I say fat? FAT!), in a mirror that not only covered the front wall, but also the side.  Double ugh.

Hear me roar!

So, for probably the first year of my practice, I never did look at my whole, fat, sweaty, inflexible self.  I looked at parts – my locked knee, my kicking leg, my raised arms. Then one day, I forgot not to look at myself.  And it wasn’t so bad.  I started doing it every day.  I still had to focus on parts sometimes, especially when getting a correction, but I made a conscious decision to look at my whole, fat, sweaty, inflexible self.

Now, don’t assume this immediately extended to my life outside the hot room, because you know what they say about “assume”.    But eventually, as my practice continued, and Weight Watchers entered my life,  I got more flexible and less fat, and I stopped avoiding full length mirrors.  And then one day, I looked at my whole self at the end of a particularly tough (and wonderful) class in the hot room, and I felt beautiful.  And strong.  And happy.  And did I say beautiful? Oh, and those mirrors in my hotel room?  …every. single. one. tells me I’m the fairest of them all.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sweetopiagirl
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 15:42:53

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

    Reply

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