Things Cats Can’t Do

You know you're jealous...

I live happily alone, with the two best, smartest, cutest cats in the universe.  (Hey, I know, but you feel the same way about your pets/kids/gadgets, admit it.)  Most of the time, there is no reason why I would want to share my living space on a daily basis with another human being, but on occasion, there are issues.

Friday morning in Los Angeles, I woke up with a new pain, in my “good” shoulder.  I say my good shoulder, as I’ve been working through an injury in my other shoulder for about a year, and it’s just starting to feel normal.  But all of a sudden, I’m having pain in that good, workhouse left shoulder, which has only ever been a problem once before, when I separated it during the second of two Bikram classes one Saturday.  (Minor digression:  Before you feel free to lecture me on my Bikram addiction, also feel free to show my your medical license.)

In any case, that was almost two years ago, and after a brief sojourn into physical therapy, my shoulder was as good as new.  Or as good as it had been, anyway.

So back to Friday – I packed, got to the airport, got on the plane.  The shoulder was twinging away, but it was bearable.  The “regular” pain of my back was, in fact, the real problem.  It was definitely a day I would not choose to repeat.  Now, usually when I get home, I fully unpack immediately.  SO not happening.  In fact, I didn’t even fold the clean clothes I hadn’t folded before I left.  (#1 on the list of things cats can’t do, damn it.)

After some restless sleep, I woke up unable to lift or rotate my left arm.  Not good.  Luckily, I had no plans I couldn’t cancel (though I had to miss two parties this weekend, double damn it), and I had slept in an outfit fully acceptable for the day’s visit by the cleaner, the grocery delivery, getting the mail, and so on.    After a day of rest, heat, ice, anti-inflammatories, and a better night’s sleep, I woke up somewhat more mobile today, and decided I would try to do a few chores.  Big mistake, for one main reason.

If you can’t lift or rotate one arm, it’s really, really, really, really hard to fasten your bra.  Trust me on this.  And don’t tell me to fasten it in front, and turn it around, blah, blah, blah.  That is actually more difficult on the arm rotation front.  You can trust me on that, too.  This handy-dandy video of the way normal women put on bras will demonstrate why I was having a problem.

So it’s days like this that I wouldn’t mind another human being in the apartment.  Someone who would fold my laundry, bring me snacks, hook my bra, and generally croon over poor little me.  Okay, I didn’t really mean that last one, but it’s kind of what most of you expected, wasn’t it?  I just wanted someone here to hook my bra!

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. katy
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 18:52:38

    Clearly you aren’t tipping your doorman enough. Hope you’re on the mend!


  2. bonnie
    Jan 16, 2012 @ 17:42:39

    Wow that brought a flashback- my mom injured her shoulder at one point and I remember that was the one thing she couldn’t find a way around and I’d have to help her with. Of course smaller girls wouldn’t eve worry about it, but with great endowments comes great responsibility.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: