My Secret Armour

This is probably what you think I mean

I wear armour almost every day.  I started doing this over 20 years ago, when a male friend told me I should.  But he didn’t mean “armour”, he meant my secret armour.  In other words, great lingerie.

But this is what I really mean

I don’t know a woman who doesn’t like pretty lingerie.  “Pretty” in this usage means whatever the woman wearing it wants it to mean.  Sexy.  Athletic.  Dainty.  Or whatever else.  I never had much of a problem finding pretty lingerie until the mid- to late- 90s, when sizing changed.

See, for years I was a 36D.  Then all of a sudden, the D cup bras didn’t fit.  I weighed myself.  Same.  I measured myself.  Same.  I compared my old bras to the new ones of the same supposed size…and there you go.  The D cups being sold were much, much smaller.  The lingerie companies had figured out that most women liked the idea of wearing a larger cup size, and had made each cup size smaller so that women would be, they hoped, fooled.  They’ve done this in clothing sizes too, by the way, but in the other direction.  Today’s size 10 is yesterday’s 14.  So there you go.  Again.

But where did that leave me?  Braless?  Not a fucking chance.  I was relegated to the granny bras, the type of secret armour that made me feel fat, unattractive, and as though my breasts were a liability.  In New York, that means the Town Shoppe, where despite their advertised commitment of being inclusive of women like me, they seem to secretly believe I don’t deserve pretty dainties.  This went on until I discovered Bravissimo — “lingerie, swimwear, & nightwear for D – KK cup women”.  And since then, Intimacy and Bare Necessities.

Since those days, I will admit, some major department stores are carrying my size (34F, if you were wondering), and things have gotten much easier.  But it says a lot about our society’s views of women that 1) the sizing changed in the first place, and 2) that what are really pretty normal larger sizes (on, by the way, women of normal weight) are “speciality” – meaning more expensive and harder to find – items.

This goes back to the real reason for the secret armour.  It first came up when I had a very scary meeting the next day, and my friend said, in so many words:  “Wear sexy lingerie.  You’ll feel more confident and have a better meeting.”  And it worked.  It still works.  Not only in work situations, but personal ones as well – though I guess that’s obvious to most people.  I’ve only met one man who didn’t find the secret armour titillating, even if most of them won’t admit they really think it looks better on the floor.

The real point here is that I feel more powerful, more confident, more ready to meet the world, when I am in my secret armour.  And if I feel sexy too, what’s wrong with that?

P.S.  On a side note, this commercial always makes me smile, even though the lingerie is not pretty…to me.  What I love is that the women are just freaking gorgeous in their confidence and secret armour.  Don’t you agree?


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Paula Braun
    Jan 28, 2012 @ 11:14:38

    Another great post. I love the line, “I’ve only met one man who didn’t find the secret armour titillating, even if most of them won’t admit they really think it looks better on the floor.”


  2. Gablesgirl
    Jan 30, 2012 @ 19:59:50

    Have you tried the Bravissimo bathing suits? I still wear a bikini but need an undwire tops for my 34 Ds


  3. travelswithslippers
    Jan 31, 2012 @ 04:28:31

    I have worn them on occasion, but they’re not my fave.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: