Kennels Of Irritation, Cage Two

We’re back to a theme here…some days, some weeks, some months – everything just gets to me.   And admit it, it happens to you too.  As attributed to Whoopi Goldberg, “I don’t have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation”.

So…on the subway:

  • Look around once in a while after you sit down.  You will often see someone who clearly needs a seat more than you do.  Get up, and offer yours.
  • No, thank you, but I’m really not interested in listening to your music.  That’s supposedly why you’re wearing headphones/ear buds/whatever – so I don’t have to.
  • Seats are for asses, not shopping bags.
  • If your child is young enough to need you to help them balance in the seat, they can probably sit on your lap…especially on a crowded train.  And really, it’s not okay to let your child sprawl across three seats to take a nap.

At yoga:

  • If it’s your first week, you probably don’t belong in the front row.  And don’t argue with the teachers when they remind you of that.
  • In fact, don’t argue with the teachers – at least not during class!
  • Courtesy in the changing room goes a long way toward a pleasant experience in class.  Trust me.
  • Practice stillness.  And as much as I’ll appreciate it, this one is for you, not me.  So just do it.  Practice stillness.

About strangers…especially male ones:

  • “Ay, mami!”, “ooh, baby, baby”, or “chicky, chicky” are not greetings that are going to get a positive response from most women.
  • My eyes, like most women’s, are in fact below my forehead and on either side of my nose…not on my nipples or in my cleavage.  I also don’t have eyes in my ass, though I see you looking with the eyes in the back of my head that all women have (even those of us without kids).
  • If you touch me inappropriately, I will not ignore it and hope you move away.  I will touch you back, and you won’t like it.

On so-called “frequent flyers”:

  • Really?  You’ve qualified for priority access and you still don’t know to take off your shoes, jacket, belt, and so on, and to take out your 3-1-1 bag and your laptop?
  • Yes, you really do need to turn off your phone when asked.  It’s not like you’re going to be able to do anything about a call that might come in.
  • I’m sorry that you didn’t get upgraded, but it’s not my fault, so don’t bitch about it to me for the entire flight.  I didn’t get upgraded either.
  • Two carry-ons.  Two.  And yes, that huge shopping bag counts.

And always, my own behavior…as in “why do I let these (and other) things, that are really no big deal, make me so crazy?”

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Thomas (@thoscarpenter)
    May 05, 2012 @ 15:26:05

    We are on the same page about all of this. Of course, no one’s ever called me “Mami.” But if they did, I’d likely be pissed off.

    Reply

  2. Suzanne Demcisak
    May 05, 2012 @ 17:26:07

    “Ay, mami!” and “Chicky chicky!” aren’t aimed at a positive response from us. They’re aimed at keeping us in our place. I have been known to respond with, “I’m sorry, but you’re wasting my time and you annoy my husband.”

    Do not get me started about people who do not understand the words, “Turn off your cell phone.” I deal with those Twinkie-heads every day at work.

    Reply

  3. Kim Sherman
    May 06, 2012 @ 06:25:17

    You forgot to mention people who reach the top or bottom of the escalator and just stand there. (or perhaps you covered that in an earlier post.)

    Reply

  4. Trackback: Small Cages Of Joy « Travels With Slippers, or The Life of A Single Woman Who Prefers It That Way

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