Not A Bikram Body

Everyone has physical limitations.  Everyone.  Even Venus Williams.  However, today is all about my non-Bikram friendly body.  Which really means it’s all about boobs.

See, mine are pretty big.  And no, if any of you are rude enough to think so, it’s not a weight issue.  As my boob doctor so kindly told me “That’s all breast tissue, sweetie.  The weight you’ve lost or may lose later isn’t coming off there.”  I know that many of my female friends are saying things like, “Wait, how do I get on that train?  What the hell are you complaining about?  I want big boobs!”  Sure you do.  I like my boobs, too.  They just get in the way sometimes.

Start with the fact, as mentioned above, that I have to have a boob doctor.  Then, note that I have to buy my dainties from speciality vendors, and they cost A LOT.  Note the extra work I have to do on my pecs to support the weight so I don’t get backaches.  Note the trouble I have finding blouses, as designers seem to think you are allowed to have both broad shoulders AND big boobs – even though, practically, the broad shoulders belong with the big boobs in terms of supporting the weight (yes, I said it again).  Note that I really can’t go braless comfortably, even at home.  Note the nasty comments I get all too often from strangers – in public.  Now ignore all of that.

The real problem is that some of the Bikram poses are just not designed for big boobs.  And in order to get half as far as someone else (e.g., a guy or a small-breasted gal), I have to work that much harder to (to name just a few) a) lift my chest off the towel (Cobra/Bhujangasana); b) get my forehead to my shins (Hands to Feet/Padahastasana); and c) find cute outfits.  (Okay, the last one is vanity, but still, it’s true.)  And by the way, while everyone else is looking at their bellybuttons, I’m being smothered in my own cleavage.  Not as fun as it may sound.

Teachers don’t tend to be very sympathetic to these problems.  Mainly, they claim it’s because I’m not flexible enough; I’m not working hard enough; or, if they have a sense of humor and are actually listening, that my boobs are just too big.  But seriously, folks – especially Bikram teachers – I am not as flexible as I could (will) be.  Yes, anyone can always work harder.  But no, my boobs are not too big.

See, I love my body.  I’ve worked very hard to learn to love my body.  But comments like yours aren’t helping.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bonnie
    Sep 03, 2012 @ 22:04:08

    I hear ya, girl! Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee pose, the sweat from mine drips right into my eyes – every time! Yuck!


  2. rasaz
    Sep 04, 2012 @ 19:23:37

    I’ll give you a credit for that…

    in my case, I lost everything everywhere 5 years ago. It’s “growing” back.


  3. Cornelia
    Sep 09, 2012 @ 12:46:51

    So with you on that! For me it’s the rabbit pose. I can’t do it properly because if I do, I’m suffocating myself!


  4. kate
    Feb 02, 2013 @ 13:21:51

    Thank you so much for this! I love Bikram but am always told to “try harder.” I can’t, my boobs are not removable.


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