Kick Me

I was bullied in school.  Right up until about tenth grade (second year of high school), though there were a few episodes after that.  While it was nowhere near what you hear described today, it was bad enough.  I was ridiculed, name-called, and given a nickname that still haunts my nightmares. kick_me

See, from fifth grade until college, I was on scholarship at what I guess might be called an “exclusive” private school (you had to be tested in various ways to get in), and while I (obviously) got in, I just could not compete in many ways that the other kids considered important.  While we wore a uniform, we were allowed to choose our own tops (as long as they had a collar) and shoes, and the competition was fierce.  We moved from Lacoste through a brief LL Bean phase (remember The Preppy Handbook?) on to Polo.  And I just could not afford to keep up.  Oh, and the weekend clothes!  And the cars!   End result…I was “inferior” and they let me know it.  Interestingly, some of those people are now my friends.  Not just Facebook friends, but friends.  I guess that’s growing up.

You may wonder why am I talking about it now.  Well, for some reason, this floated into my head today during my Bikram class.  (I know, I know, I should not be thinking about other things during my practice, but hey, it is a practice, not a perfect.  Sue me.)  Clearly, I realized (in my post-yoga glow), it still affects me, which led to thinking about why and how and by the way, get the fuck over it already.

At least I learned to shop like nobody else …on much less cash than you would believe, I can keep up with any trend except couture, which really would not work for my office in any case.  I mean, can you imagine?  But more seriously, I still have a hard time with “teasing” or even sarcasm – my instant reaction is to want to curl up in a little ball and hide under the covers.  I think I hide it pretty well (or maybe I don’t).  Overreacting – it’s my cross to bear.  One of them, anyway.

 If I can have such a reaction from the relatively mildly difficult time I had, I can’t even imagine what some of today’s kids (and even adults) go through.   And no, I’m not talking about adults who know each other well and the teasing and even constructive criticism that can go on.  I’m talking about the thoughtlessly cruel comments people make to and about each other.  So, be kind.  Or if you can’t be kind, be thoughtful.

It’s worth a try.  After all, the next blogger that writes about such experiences might name names!

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