Excited AND Scared

A_girl_in_her_graduation_cap_and_gown_with_a_rose_in_her_teeth_100501-112945-805009Two weeks from today, I will arrive in Amherst, Massachusetts for my College Reunion.  My TWENTY-FIFTH Reunion.  Two-five.  Two and a half decades. 

Boy, I’m old.

But seriously, I’m excited about this.  The advent of Facebook (and having gone to my 2oth Reunion) means I’m more in touch with many of my classmates than I expected, and ideally, I know a little bit about them.

And at the same time, I’m a little scared.  Frankly, I think I’m probably a lot more fun (and cuter) on Facebook (or here) than I am in person.  After all, you can edit yourself – or not – when you’re sitting in front of a screen.

Then there’s my job, which is hard to describe, and while I think it’s consequential, I’m not at all sure the College agrees with me.  It’s also kind of insular and hard to explain.

And last, but not least, I’m no longer at my goal weight.  Admittedly, I weigh about 25 pounds less than I did at the 20th, but there was a short time period in there (which luckily coincided with my 25th high school reunion) when I was actually at my goal weight.  I liked it there.  I’m still trying to get back there.  But I won’t be there in two weeks, unless I immediately stop eating, drinking water, and do nothing every day but work out.  And even then, I have my doubts.

Still, I do have great hair.

It’s not like I’ve even considered not going though, and it’s certainly not like I think I’m not going to have a great time.  I’m going; it will be a blast; and I will be glad I went.

But I am excited and scared.  Just putting it out there.

P.S.  Bonus points for anyone who can tell me where my title for this post originated.

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On Gorillas

So, over the last several months, I’ve been running from pillar to post dealing with health issues that started in December.  The good news is that the 800-pound gorilla of a diagnosis was ruled out.  thCAN8DMN5The bad news (which is really not so bad) is that I still feel like hell.  However, I’ve decided to give myself a doctor break for a bit, and see if rest, yoga, quality cat time, and good companionship help me feel better.  You’ll understand more in a bit.

Yesterday, (the same day the gorilla left the room), there was a young man in my Bikram Yoga class who has no use of his legs.  He gets around in a wheelchair, and apparently has been practicing Bikram frequently for about seven years.   I was awestruck.  (By the way, if you’re wondering, because I would, he does not practice in the chair, but on the floor.)

And damn, did he put my situation in perspective.  Instead of looking at my challenges in a way that magnifies them to the size of (yes, again) 800-pound gorillas, I realized they really are microscopic in the big picture.   I’m a lucky girl.  And I’m going to try harder to remember that every. damn. day.

P.S.  Mystery of the day is why this Sambo image came up on a search for “800-pound gorilla”…oh, Google!thCAJ8IOTU

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