Alone Is To Lonely As [__] Is To [__]

I have this guy friend who is absolutely sure that because I am single, I am lonely.   No matter how often I try to explain to him the difference between “alone” and “lonely”, he just doesn’t buy it.  One day, I even got the “you’ll end up old and lonely if you don’t find a guy now” speech, which, after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I countered by pointing out that even if I had a guy now, I would not necessarily have one when I am “old”.  Or even tomorrow.  

I mean, seriously, I was never so lonely as when the Evil Ex was in my life.   He was living in my apartment, sleeping in my bed at night and on my couch all day – and I was completely lonely.  All. The. Time.  Lonely is not a function of who’s in the room. 

Yes, I choose to be alone at times – maybe more than most people.  And other times, I choose not to be.    And, yes, sometimes I am lonely.   But more often than not, I’m loneliest in a crowd. 

And then I wonder if this could be one of those gender-linked things.  In my limited experience, women are “better” at being alone than men, and don’t equate being alone to either loneliness, or that other “joke” that I’ve heard “Loser, Party of One”.  Even better, you should hear some of the comments I get (mainly from men – most women think it’s cool) when someone finds out I go on vacation by myself on occasion.happyalone

To those that disagree:  Please, feel free to try to ensure you’re never alone, and to believe that that will mean you will never be lonely.  I hope it works for you, I really do. 

Me?  I’ll just continue to muddle along, enjoying my own company and, sometimes, that of others.  Maybe you.  If you’re really, really lucky.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kim D. Sherman
    Aug 23, 2013 @ 15:25:12

    Reminds me of that old saying: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”


  2. masqueradelily
    Aug 23, 2013 @ 15:59:20

    I’m not lonely until you tell me I should be… then I’m like “Crap! I must be missing out on something!” Then I feel lonely!


  3. Suzanne Demcisak
    Aug 23, 2013 @ 18:41:44

    There are lots of ways to end up old and lonely. One of them is to wrap yourself up so completely in a partner that when you lose them, there is nobody else close to you. And is it just me, or do men rarely get told that some day they’ll be old and lonely if they don’t go out and get a woman?


  4. Ruth
    Aug 24, 2013 @ 08:46:58

    Are we twins? My thoughts, exactly!


  5. Jensen
    Aug 24, 2013 @ 10:36:41

    I love vacationing by myself!!!! You are spot on!!!


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