I’m Sorry

A while back, during my Bikram Yoga class, I realized I say “I’m sorry” a lot.  And how did my wandering brain land there, you ask?  Well, I was having a crappy class…I even had to ask for an Emergen-C halfway through…and as the class was with a teacher I really like, I was kind of humiliated.  I know my practice is for me, but I still prefer an approving glance to an “are you okay” face.

More recently, the topic of saying “I’m sorry” came up with a friend.  I was saying (okay, bitching) that another friend had done something really kind of, oh, let’s just say – not nice.  And I said, “Really, she could just f–king say ‘I’m sorry’.  It costs nothing!”  You know, like when someone accidentally bumps you on the street and you say “Oops, I’m sorry”.  Generally they then realize they were at fault, apologize, and the world keeps spinning.images

And that’s really the point.  So many times throughout the day, a simple “I’m sorry” can make all the difference in the world.  It doesn’t even mean you’re wrong.  It just means, in many cases, that you’re ready to move on.  No biggie.  Drop it already.

But there is another kind of “I’m sorry” that I hear coming out of my mouth sometimes, and it’s not one I like.  Occasionally, I will catch myself saying it when what I really mean is “Oops, did I just say that really honest thing to you?  Now I’m embarrassed, and I’ll pretend it was a mistake”.    Have you ever done that?   Yes, of course you have.  We all have.  And there are those moments when the reaction to your statement indicates that an apology (or recanting) is in order.  But then, there are those other moments when it’s just, I guess, shyness.  Or a desire for affirmation.  Or a way to fill a shocked silence.

Did I have a point?  Well, maybe not.

I’m sorry.

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