Bossy And Proud Of It

I’m sick of Sheryl Sandberg, and her “Ban Bossy” campaign is just one more nausea-inducing element of the problem.  Honestly, I initially admired her.  Her background is not that different than mine, though she did grow up in a two-parent home, and she’s certainly “made something” of herself.

But to me, both her “Lean In” and “Ban Bossy” campaigns are prime examples of exactly how NOT to help other women, especially those without her current advantages.  While her goals are laudable (I’m taking them at face value here), she just.doesn’

It would be great, of course, if I could offer a cogent, well-reasoned argument with plenty of proofs behind it to support my negative reaction to Ms. Sandberg.  But many, many more skilled writers have taken that on.  (Here’s a recent article from the LA Times, for example.  Oh, and watch this!)  I’m just in need of a good rant.

Yes, I’ve been called bossy.  I don’t know a single strong woman, especially a feminist, who has not been.  And I know a hell of a lot of men who have been called bossy as well.  But you know, in this case, unlike some others, I don’t agree that the word is the issue, but the way it is used.  It’s tone of voice; it’s facial (and physical) expressions; it’s context.  It would be nice if we could change the way people hear us only by changing the words we use, but that completely ignores the non-verbal content of conversation.

Because it made me laugh.

Because it made me laugh.

Now, I’m not saying there are not words that are SO negative that they should never be used.  Or maybe I am…my friends and have on occasion used words that are in fact offensive, and no-one was offended.  And trust me, my friends would be clear on it if they were taking offense.

Ms. Sandberg – I wish you would use the resources you have to really help, instead of skimming the surface of issues that mainly have no impact on you in your current environment.  Stop talking down to us.  Stop assuming we aren’t you because we don’t try hard enough (because, you know, we might not want to be.)

And stop being so.damn.bossy.







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