Why I Will Still Practice Bikram Yoga

I’ve written before about Bikram Choudhury and the  charges levied against him, but the situation has changed.  While the criminal charges have been dismissed, more women have come forward and are filing civil suits against him.  Now, we still don’t know what is true – and anyone can file a civil suit – and to be completely politically incorrect, some of the described incidents sound completely avoidable to me – there’s a lot of talk, and some have asked me what I think.  Some have even suggested that I should change my practice to avoid any association with Mr. Choudhury and his name.

So, I’m taking a stand.  I will continue my yoga practice.  I will seek out studios when I travel, and vacations that incorporate this yoga.  524089_649930008373225_1489855080_nAnd I will not hide that practice by calling it other than what it is – “Bikram Yoga”.  After all, it’s the yoga, not the guru, or as a wise friend of mine pointed out, not everything has to be a cult of personality, and not everything has to be destroyed if an idol is toppled.

Bikram Yoga has changed my life in only positive ways – I am healthier, more disciplined, happier, and I have a circle of friends and a community at Bikram Yoga NYC and the other studios I visit when traveling that I would have missed out on without this practice.

Making this decision might be easier for me than some; I’ve always tended to assume that anyone – anyone – can disappoint me.  But when they do, I’ve also been able to acknowledge the positive elements (assuming there were some) from our interaction.  Even the Evil Ex taught me some things.

I don’t have some profound ending statement to make – and there may be those who see this as a defense of the man, not of my Bikram Yoga practice.  But that’s theirs to figure out.  I’ve made my decision, and I’ll be in the hot room.



I Got Nothin’

Actually, I’ve got a lot.  I have so much to say that I am unable to say it. I am tongue tied. When I start trying to explain, I stutter with the urgency of what I need to say. And then I just fall silent.

IMG_0504Right now, I am sitting in a hotel room in Las Vegas. I’ve been up for hours, due to the time difference, and unable to do much due to pain from a recurring injury. So, I’m watching Law & Order (thank God), reading, playing on the iPad, and trying to form coherent thoughts. No, not simultaneously.

And the final task evades me. I am overwhelmed with the volume of my racing thoughts, and none of them are settling into coherence. Incoherence is more like it.

So, while my scrabbling monkey mind is in ascendance, some random thoughts for your amusement:

-I can almost understand people who purge. My breakfast sucked. But then, saying that is probably both offensive and insensitive. Still, it’s what I was thinking.

-Why is so hard to verbalize feelings? I think it is in part because the words we use to describe them are so weighted with cultural context. “Love”, for example, has a whole set of meanings that society places on it, and while you might feel it, saying it is a whole ‘nother ball game.

-Why does WordPress not have an effective app for the iPad, and at the same time make working from Safari so annoying?

-If my first post of 2015 is this trivial, what does that say about the upcoming year?

-Why isn’t it lunch time (or even better, bedtime) yet?




Off The Plane, Or My Rules For Saner Travel, Part 2

It shouldn’t be so hard, should it?  I mean, the hard part is over – now all you need to do is wend your way through the airport to your preferred mode of ground transportation.gty_jfk_airport_thg_120117_wb


1.  Do NOT stand in the aisle while you put away all the crap you took out in flight.  Step into your row until you are actually ready to move forward.

2.  If we each let at least one person step into the aisle to exit, we won’t be delayed by much, and look!  you did a good deed.

3.  While waiting for your baggage (assuming you checked rather than forced your way on board with 87 different bags that you crammed into two for boarding, but now are being carried separately), spread out a little.  The bags are not going to move faster because you are all standing five deep right.where.they.exit.

4.  If you’re going to take a taxi, enter the queue at the end.  Just because some other loser took the chain down does not mean you get to jump the line at that spot.

5.  In any line, leave some space in front of you.  If I can feel your breath, you’re too close.  And by the way, the line does not move faster because you are crawling up my ass.

And as I said before:

Just be courteous. In fact, you can even be friendly. If you get rebuffed, so what? You’ll most likely never see that idiot again.

Sane travels!

Thoughts On A Plane, Or My Rules For Saner Travel


1. The aisle is shared space, not a place for you to hang out because you don’t like your seat. But if you do, graciously move your ass when others are trying to use the aisle for its actual purpose.

2. If your child is behaving badly, at least pretend to be doing something about it. I will then pretend I believe you.

3. Stop bitching about the things none of can change, especially when they’re not new. Yes, it sucks that you had to check one of your carry-ons; yes, we all hate that the seats are smaller than ever; and yes, life is not fucking fair. Now shut up and pretend you are excited about your trip.

4. If you’re going to take your shoes off (and I do), please wear clean socks. And put your shoes on when going to the bathroom. We all know men on planes spray urine on the floor as a matter of course…it’s bad enough without getting it on your socks.

5. Speaking of airplane bathrooms:
-Close the seat before flushing – it sprays.
-Empty the sink after washing your hands.
-Yes, I am assuming you wash your hands. Do it.
-Wipe the countertop dry if you got it wet.
-In general, don’t be disgusting.

Last, but least, just be courteous. In fact, you can even be friendly. If you get rebuffed, so what? You’ll most likely never see that idiot again.

Sane travels!

Bad Mommy! BAD, BAD, BAD!

I travel.  A lot.  Most of it for work, but sometimes, for myself.  When I came home from my most recent trip, my Jane was clearly ill.  And it turns out that her issue would have been completely preventable if I had been home more…and perhaps paid better attention when I was.

See, Jane is polydactyl, and the claws on one paw had grown into her pad, necessitating stitches.  And a big ugly bandage.  And meds.  Lots of meds.    poorJaneBad mommy missed it.  Bad mommy thought everything was fine because whenever she was home, Jane came over purring and wanted to cuddle.

And bad mommy was wrong.  Once it was clear that Jane would recover, I spiraled into a major funk, wondering how it could possibly be fair for me to have not one, but two, cats, when I am out of town part of almost every week most months.  Plus, even when I am here, I am out of the apartment a minimum of 13 hours most days.  So what right do I have to have pets?  Clearly, I can’t take care of them properly.  And so on – you get the picture.

Yes, I got over it.  Both Jane and Nutley are rescues, and I know, in my heart, that I take great care of them, and that they are happy with me.  I remembered that these things happen to all parents, of human and of animal children.

So, what’s the big lesson?   You can decide for yourself.  I’m just going to keep a closer eye on Jane’s paws.

Alone Is To Lonely As [__] Is To [__]

I have this guy friend who is absolutely sure that because I am single, I am lonely.   No matter how often I try to explain to him the difference between “alone” and “lonely”, he just doesn’t buy it.  One day, I even got the “you’ll end up old and lonely if you don’t find a guy now” speech, which, after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I countered by pointing out that even if I had a guy now, I would not necessarily have one when I am “old”.  Or even tomorrow.  

I mean, seriously, I was never so lonely as when the Evil Ex was in my life.   He was living in my apartment, sleeping in my bed at night and on my couch all day – and I was completely lonely.  All. The. Time.  Lonely is not a function of who’s in the room. 

Yes, I choose to be alone at times – maybe more than most people.  And other times, I choose not to be.    And, yes, sometimes I am lonely.   But more often than not, I’m loneliest in a crowd. 

And then I wonder if this could be one of those gender-linked things.  In my limited experience, women are “better” at being alone than men, and don’t equate being alone to either loneliness, or that other “joke” that I’ve heard “Loser, Party of One”.  Even better, you should hear some of the comments I get (mainly from men – most women think it’s cool) when someone finds out I go on vacation by myself on occasion.happyalone

To those that disagree:  Please, feel free to try to ensure you’re never alone, and to believe that that will mean you will never be lonely.  I hope it works for you, I really do. 

Me?  I’ll just continue to muddle along, enjoying my own company and, sometimes, that of others.  Maybe you.  If you’re really, really lucky.

Excited AND Scared

A_girl_in_her_graduation_cap_and_gown_with_a_rose_in_her_teeth_100501-112945-805009Two weeks from today, I will arrive in Amherst, Massachusetts for my College Reunion.  My TWENTY-FIFTH Reunion.  Two-five.  Two and a half decades. 

Boy, I’m old.

But seriously, I’m excited about this.  The advent of Facebook (and having gone to my 2oth Reunion) means I’m more in touch with many of my classmates than I expected, and ideally, I know a little bit about them.

And at the same time, I’m a little scared.  Frankly, I think I’m probably a lot more fun (and cuter) on Facebook (or here) than I am in person.  After all, you can edit yourself – or not – when you’re sitting in front of a screen.

Then there’s my job, which is hard to describe, and while I think it’s consequential, I’m not at all sure the College agrees with me.  It’s also kind of insular and hard to explain.

And last, but not least, I’m no longer at my goal weight.  Admittedly, I weigh about 25 pounds less than I did at the 20th, but there was a short time period in there (which luckily coincided with my 25th high school reunion) when I was actually at my goal weight.  I liked it there.  I’m still trying to get back there.  But I won’t be there in two weeks, unless I immediately stop eating, drinking water, and do nothing every day but work out.  And even then, I have my doubts.

Still, I do have great hair.

It’s not like I’ve even considered not going though, and it’s certainly not like I think I’m not going to have a great time.  I’m going; it will be a blast; and I will be glad I went.

But I am excited and scared.  Just putting it out there.

P.S.  Bonus points for anyone who can tell me where my title for this post originated.

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